Why Being a Potty-Mouthed Mom Isn't the Worst Thing in the World
Posted on 23 June 2015
Featured Guest Blogger: Catherine Houlahan of Circus Living
Being a potty-mouth mom isn't something I flaunt nor something I am proud of. I can honestly state, however, that I am not ashamed of it either. It's just who I am, who I have become - an occasionally exhausted stressed-out mom. I used to be the girl who was taught it was not 'lady-like' to swear...so I didn't. After all, swear words are dirty, crass, not at all classy, and only for the uncouth. Man, was I naive and full of shit.
The amount of swear words I use and the frequency in which I use them have been directly proportional to the number of kids we have had. As our kids multiplied, the obscenities that spew from my mouth also increased. There is just something so liberating about swearing. It keeps me sane. It keeps me pleasant. It keeps me productive and ultimately, a better mom. Just that one word, that four letter word when uttered brings me back to a normal calm state right from a hyper-vigilant one.
Shit happens a lot when you have kids and I am not just talking about shit in the literal sense. Take for example our son Ronan who when he was five decided to lock all of the change rooms in a men's suit store by first locking the door and then crawling underneath it to get out and thus, leaving the room locked. He did this until all of the rooms were locked. The change rooms couldn't be opened from the outside, only from the inside, so the staff would have had to crawl underneath the doors to open them all. Count my lucky stars he didn't do it in a washroom right? Fuck, it was still embarrassing. It was horrifying and amusing. The amusing part only came after uttering the four letter word while in a state of shock. He eventually crawled under again per my calm direction to unlock the doors so disaster was averted. Uttering that magical four letter word allowed me to keep my bearings during the entire incident. Is uttering fuck cathartic? Hell, yeah.
And then there was the time the dog ate something he shouldn't have and pooped all over the kitchen...an explosive one all over our fucking all-white kitchen. It was all over the floors and the cupboards. It looked like someone threw a paint splatter poop party in our kitchen. And then the time all three kids had epic meltdowns and arguments over balloons left in the car. Me, who recently got my licence and still gets nervous about driving having to put up with the screaming and fits of hysteria while I navigated my way through rush hour because of those fucking balloons. Kiarra who insisted on holding all four balloons at once and when any dropped out of her hands in the car would scream bloody murder. Her screaming would then start a chorus of sorts because it wasn't long before the other two joined in the lunacy as well. And then who can forget the colourful time we had at a raw vegan food potluck where the kids acted like spawns of the devil, where they demanded meat (no joke), where both Kiarra and Seamus insisted on filling up their water bottles at the fountain over...and..over...and over...or else having to face inevitable meltdowns, and where Ronan hid in protest underneath one of the tables after seeing some pot-luckers touch the food with...gasp, their own bare hands. Ronan the boy who licks doorknobs to be funny worried about people using their fucking bare hands. What... the...fuck.
Curse. Breathe. Let it all out. Deal with it. And then move on.
It isn't easy being a mom. Everyone knows that. Cursing during the most difficult and admittedly funniest (on hindsight) moments help lighten up situations. I dare anyone to tell a new mom who has had only a couple of hours straight sleep in the first months her infant was born, or a mom who has to deal with a spirited or high-needs child (or two) on a daily basis, or a single mom who has to work full-time and take care of her children on her own to lay off the curse words. There isn't anything wrong with cursing. True, they may offend some sensibilities but in the end, cursing is just an expression of one's emotions. It is just exactly that...cursing...nothing more and nothing less. Being a potty-mouth mom isn't the worst thing in the world. If it allows you to get it all out so you can continue being the super mom that you are, then so be it. In the end, fuck what the rest of the world may think. There are significant issues in the world to deal with that are far more worse than a swear word.
Cat writes for Circus Living, providing travel blogs, product reviews and other family topics when she's not wrangling up her three kids and husband. She says her household is like a circus except everyone in my family wants to be the ring leader...even the dog! Be sure to check her out on Facebook and Twitter to see more photos of the family's adventures, and keep up to date on her posts!